December 2011
November 2011
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“Ice is an awesome substitute for food. It’s way more solid than water, and you can chew it. Make sure to only eat ice that is both low-cal and carb-free. Since you don’t want anyone to to see you eating, only chew ice at night, alone, in the dark.”
nuggits2:
merry christmas wow i cant believe tomorrow is halloween
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“what’s that black actor’s name again? omar pudding junior?”
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why does comcast feel the need to describe every movie as a “raucous romp”
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putting chips ahoy in oreos, nabisco gang bang
j cole’s unibrow has magical powers
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i would’ve bought that russian car but it kept stalin
Anonymous asked: Everything you write is hilarious. I feel too awkward to like everything :s
Watchballasblog:
I love this girl for looking so good and moving like this.♥
DAMN
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now if you’ll excuse me, i’ll have to warn the chef that you’ve arrived.
i don’t really like those “ask me these questions” that so frequently pop up on tumblr
mainly because in rehab we were asked these questions on the daily and often had to make art projects about them
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maybs people are just getting more retarded so putting a ‘special person’ in a fast food job doesn’t seem like a bfd anymore, at least not enough to put it in a commercial. but reblog if ur a 90s kid!!
i don’t think there’s a more embarrassing typo than substituting “sweat” for “sweet”
example: i love my new bath and body works fragrance, “sweat pea”
every fucking cereal commercial has a disclaimer: part of this complete breakfast! (showing skim milk, bran vegan muffin, and fruit). ok fuck that just give me the fucking goddamn count chocula and no one gets hurt!!
I was born in 89 btw
fighting evil by moonlight, eat all i can by daylight
another little known fact: catdog inspired the human centipede.
little known fact: frosted cheerios were actually frosted with cocaine. that’s why everyone remembers the 90s so fondly.
Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society…
Anonymous asked: let's fornicate
my personal creepypasta
This story is true.
freshman winter, my friends lauren and elle and i were heading up to the hill for some party, and we passed macky auditorium (picture attached). that place has always given me bad vibes and that night, it was all lit up from the inside. it was so creepy but i felt this weird pull to it that my friends felt too. the place was all lit up when nothing from the university...
i love creepypasta!!
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My hair is so soft today
nobleturnip:
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my daily diet consists of dominos, 40s, cigs and various other drugs.
how fat am i? wait. don’t answer. i already know.
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Pure | Blackbird Blackbird
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all you can eat shrimp and steak buffet!!!
$9.99!!!
plus BONUS STEAK N SHRIMP
drinkbleachmynigga:
sometimes calling somebody plain old “ugly” just isn’t enough, sometimes you have to get a tad more creative with it to get the point across
Anonymous asked: Good one slut.
You Know It’s True Love When:
he licks the Cheez-It goo from your gums
he pops your pimples without making you cry
he gives you free italian sandwiches and drugs for free!!! other than a blow job
This is what I'm trying to get rid of.
volonta:
tiffanywantstobeskinny:
Do you need a chainsaw? My dad has one in the garage.
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what’s the most creative chaser you’ve used?
is it hygienic to eat skittles out of a pussy